The Batlife
by BestestBat
Summary: A series of one-shots based off of the Batfamily, especially focused on the Batboys.
1. I'd Lose It All For You

**A/N: BestestBat here again! I appreciate all the support of my first story, Carnivals and Cats. Check it out if you haven't. I was told that I should do more Batboy one-shots. So here it is! Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I only own the plot. Everything else is owned by DC Comics. This is strictly for entertainment, not pay.**

Dick -

Bruce had a rough night. Scratch that; a rough week. It felt like all the villains in the city had broken loose. He finally caught the last of them last night, getting home at for in the morning. On top of that, he had a meeting that he needed to go to for Wayne Enterprises and he was late. Why? Because he couldn't find his freaking suit, shoes, or tie.

He groaned, finally deciding to put on another suit. It took him thirty extra minutes to get ready.

"Where's Dickie?" Bruce asked at the front door. Normally the little boy would meet his adoptive father with a big hug at the door before he had to go.

"I believe he fell asleep while watching Octonauts." Alfred answered. "He's had a long week. You know how that is." Bruce winced as he put on his jacket, before giving Alfred a look. "What? Too soon?" The butler asked innocently.

Bruce stepped out the door when five-year-old Dickie Grayson-Wayne came thumping down the stairs. "I'm weady fow the meeting!"

Bruce smiled softly. "I found your things." Alfred stated, making Bruce roll his eyes.

Dick stood at the bottom of the stairs, dragging a briefcase across the floor, with Bruce's missing things on his person. His shoes were dragging on the floor and his sleeves and tie were down to his knees. His haute was slicked back, although messily, and Bruce was pretty sure that wasn't hair gel.

"Chum…" Bruce walked over and kneeled down next to his child. "You know you can't come. Its a meeting for adults."

"But I is this many now!" Dick held up all his fingers on one hand.

Bruce shook his head. "Dickie, you're still just a kid. Besides, these meetings are really boring. They don't even have juice boxes or cereal!" Bruce exclaimed.

Dick gasped. "Really?" He whispered.

"Really." Bruce nodded, a serious look on his face. Bruce looked at his watch. He was an hour late. "You look great though."

Dick frowned. "It's too big." He lifted up his arm, the sleeve flopping around.

"How about this, Chum?" Bruce took off Dick's, his, suit jacket. "I skip the boring grownup meeting, and you and me go shopping to get your very own suit?"

"Can we get juice boxes and cereal?!" The child bounced.

Bruce chuckled, standing up and picking Dick up, hugging him. "Of course."

Dickie's eyes lit up. "I love you, Tati!"

"I love you too, Chum."

Jason -

Bruce breathed steadily as he ran across the rooftops, rushing to catch Two-Face. He was alone tonight, no Boy Wonder in sight. Jason Todd-Wayne had been Robin for almost a year, but the previous night Jason almost fell off a roof because he was still rusty with a grapple.

Besides, it was a school night and Jason, only being nine-years-old, needed sleep. Or so Alfred insisted.

So here he was, out as the Dark Knight alone. Not that he minded. Jason was like Dick, in the way that they both liked talking. This way, Bruce could get in more stakeouts that he's been putting off, like with Two-Face.

Harvey Dent hadn't been able to scope out a new headquarters. Of course it was never that easy. Two-Face got away after Batman's grapple was broke by one of his goons, who was two times bigger than Bruce.

He landed on his arm, definitely breaking it. He tried catching up to Dent, reaching for his extra grapple, only to find it wasn't there.

He let out a few colorful words, glad Alfred wasn't there, before calling the Batmobile. He didn't have to wait very long before it came zooming down the street.

Batman zoomed into the Batcave, tired and sore. Not to mention agitated. He always made sure he had extra things in his belt. He would've sworn on his parents' graves that he packed an extra one before heading out.

He hopped out of the car. He heard a thud and a string of curses, no doubt Jason, and ran up the stairs to the main floor where the training mat was, his heart pounding.

"Jay?!" He found the boy on the floor, holding his arm. "Sport, what are you doing? You have school tomorrow. It's one o'clock!"

Jason turned red. "I-I-"

"Is that…?" Bruce rose his eyebrow behind the cowl at the object in Jason's hand. Bruce's missing grapple.

Jason looked down. "I just wanted to make you proud."

Bruce kneeled down. "Jason, you make me proud everyday. You just need a little more practice is all."

Jason was still a bit upset. "But I couldn't even grapple without hurting myself. I think I brine my arm."

Bruce laughed. "I understand, Sport." Bruce pointed to his arm, which just so happened to be the left, just like Jays.

Jason smiled, even laughing a little bit. Bruce chuckled with him. "C'mon."

Bruce helped Jason with his arm and vice versa. "How about you stay home and we have a little time together?" Bruce suggested.

Jays eyes lit up. "Sweet!" Jason hugged Bruce. "I love you, Pops!"

"I love you too, Sport."

Tim -

Bruce rummaged through the papers on his desk. Where is it? He thought. He was starting to get agitated and nervous.

"Alfred?!"

His oldest, most trusted friend, walked into his office. "Yes, sir?"

"Have you seen my flash drive with all the new project blueprints? I need it for my presentation tomorrow, but I can't find it. If I don't find it-"

Alfred placed a hand on his wards shoulder. "I'm sure it'll come up, sir."

Bruce huffed, sitting down. "I sure hope so."

It was then that little Timmy Drake-Wayne, only two-years-old, waddled in.

Bruce's face brightened as he picked the small boy up and set him on his lap. "Hey, Buds."

Timmy beamed at his father, before wiggling, signaling that he wanted to be put down.

Bruce set the squirming boy down. "Come! Come!"

Tim grabbed Bruce and Alfred's hands (well, more like fingers) and led them to the kitchen. "Where are we going?" Bruce inquired of his youngster.

"Sa-pwi!" Bruce looked over at Alfred confused. Alfred, who knows everything, chuckled.

"He has a surprise for us, sir."

Bruce made an 'o' with his mouth. Tim came to a halt in front of the freezer. He grabbed the handle and slid it open. "In! In!" He cheered, clapping and pointing inside.

There, sitting on top of the pizza rolls, was Bruce's missing flash drive. "Besan!" Timmy smiled, watching Bruce's face for his reaction.

"He got a present for you." Alfred translated, nudging Bruce's arm with his elbow, warning him not to get upset.

Bruce looked down at his kid, whose smile was fading slightly, before he picked up the flash drive. Luckily, the device wasn't wet or too cold. Tim must've just put it in.

"Thanks, Buds. I really needed that." Bruce grinned at the boy, whose smile was bigger than before. "But why'd you put it in the freezer?"

Tim smirked, proud of his plan he came up with. "You wike fose! You wike tat!" Tim first pointed to the pizza rolls, then to the flash drive.

"So…because I like pizza rolls, I'd like this if you put it on them?" Bruce confirmed.

Timmy nodded excitedly.

Bruce smiled, before laughing. Tim joined him as Bruce threw him into the air. "Your so smart." Bruce hugged his boy.

Timmy's eyes lit up "Wuv Daddy! Wuv Daddy!"

"I love you too, Buds."

Damian -

Bruce came home to a silent house with four sleeping boys. Whom he loved dearly, add hard as it was sometimes. The newest edition especially. Twelve-year-old Damian was a handful, just joining the Wayne's group of misfits and orphans a little over a year ago. He was still learning the ropes. However, Bruce was willing to help him learn the rules.

Unfortunately, he had come home late, so he wasn't able to spend time with his boys like he had promised.

He dropped all his papers off at his desk, before changing the hands on the grandfather clock. It made a clicking noise, before it slid open, revealing an elevator. He walked in, putting his hands in his pockets.

He walked out when the doors opened deep in the caves under Wayne Manor. He went to the Batcomputer. Things had been quiet ever since he rounded up the inmates of Arkham Asylum after the breakout. He wasn't expecting anyone to break out tonight, just little crimes tonight.

"I see you made it, sir." Alfred stated, walking in.

"Don't give me that, Alfred. You know I tried. The meeting was nine hours! Only the people Wayne Enterprises meets with can talk for nine hours!" Bruce exclaimed, exasperated.

Alfred chuckled, before informing Bruce. "The boys were quite upset,"

"I'll stay home with them tomorrow."

"especially Damian." Alfred continued, ignoring Bruce's promise. Bruce looked at Alfred, confused and a little shocked. "He really wants you to like him, Master Bruce. He's still awake…it's not too late to get to know him today like you promised."

Bruce looked back at the computer, his foot tapping like it does when he's thinking. "I'll have a short night tonight, get home early and take him out early tomorrow."

Alfred held in a sigh. "Very well, sir."

Bruce blocked out the disappointment in his father-figures voice and turned back to finishing up his files.

It was about an hour later when Bruce finished updating files and adding new ones. Alfred had left, probably to clean because we all know that Alfred is inhuman and doesn't need sleep.

Bruce went to get changed. He put on his pants, tunic, boots, gloves, and belt, before reaching for his cowl and cape. Only to find them missing.

His eyes narrowed as he looked around the cave, searching for any signs of life besides the bats. After thirty or so minutes, Bruce gave up and decided it was a sign that he should skip patrol.

He got changed in flannel pants, before climbing up the stairs. He was about to go into his room, when ghee looked down the hall at Damian's room, which had a light on. He walked over and peeked into his room, before sighing, smiling softly.

Damian was asleep sitting up against his beds headboard, holding tightly onto the cape and cowl of the Bat, like a blanket.

Bruce walked over and climbed in next to his youngest, while tucking him in.

Damian opened his eyes a bit as Bruce hugged him.

Damis eyes lit up. "I love you, Father."

"I love you too, Pal."


	2. Childhood

**A/N: Sorry I haven't posted. I've been busy with Christmas and school and what not. I'll try to be better. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed and for all the compliments. FYI, for this story I am taking requests. They can include anyone, but try to make them BatBoy cenetered.** **Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the plot. The challenges aren't mine and the characters, settings, etc. belong to DC Comics.** **Enjoy!**

*

The first time anyone saw a Bat Challenge was when Dick was ten-years-old.

The main Leaguers were on a video call with Batman, who was in the Batcave. Two years of knowing Batman's little bird, they've seen a lot of crazy and weird things. Some involved Batman singing lullabies, or playing cars, but this increased the Dark Knights immaturity level up quite a bit.

"If we don't do something about this, the press is gonna be all over-"

A shout fruition a familiar voice cut off Flash. "Floor is lava!"

Robin jumping up and hanging onto Batman's shoulders didn't surprise them at all. However, The Batman jumping up onto his chair to cling onto the top of the Batcomputer? Yeah, that'd surprise anyone (with the exception of Alfred, of course).

A few minutes passed, before Dick spoke up. "I think...I think we're safe."

Bruce fell to the ground, landing on his feet. Dick wiped imaginary sweat from his forehead. "Phew, that was close."

Bruce ruffled the birds hair. "Thanks for warning me, chum."

Dick smirked proudly. "Anytime, B."

When Dick bounded away (something about Alfred and cookies), the Leaguers smirked at Bruce, who frowned back.

"Not a word."

The next time Bruce's inner child was unlocked by his son, not only was the entire Justice League, but also the Young Justice team.

It was an open meeting on the Watchtower, at which a bored fourteen-year-old Boy Wonder asked his best pal, Wally West, the single most important question the young speedster ever thought he'd hear in his life.

"Hey. Wanna see Batman humiliate himself?"

"Is that even a question?"

Robin cackled quietly, only his team being able to hear him. They gave him confused glances, which he ignored. He brought out guys wrist computer.

"We don't know how this is, but it is a major concern to both teams-"

"Eh Bats!" Robin called out, much to the Dark Knights dismay.

"Yes Robin?" Bats turned to his protege, a sigh in his voice and an urge to pinch the bridge of his nose.

Robin smirked and hit a button. "Hey macarena!" He sung out, the music playing in the background.

"Crap." Batman growled before, to the surprise and amazement of the teams, doing the dance.

Robin cackled, singing along with the song. "And turn!" He shouted at the part where you're supposed to turn. Bats rolled his eyes and did so.

"Wait for it, chum." Bats told his snickering partner. "Very soon."

Rob had stayed the night at the Mount that night. In the morning everyone awoke to a shriek.

"Robin!" Everyone rushed to his room.

"Wait! Don't come-" Superboy knocked down his door. "-in."

Everyone froze, before laughing, Wally even taking a picture.

There stood the Boy Wonder wearing a unicorn version of his uniform, all pink, purple, and glittery. His mask even had a horn attached to it.

Robin sighed. "I deserve this."

As Dick grew up, the Bats acted less and less like children, to everyone's disappointment. Less jokes were said in the Mount and the Watchtower, and even the Cave. Stories were told to the new generation of Batman and Robins pranks, jokes, and challenges.

After hearing of the macarena Challenge, Tim confronted Dick about why he didn't do that stuff anymore.

"Everyone grows up, Timmy. It's just a part of life. We can't all stay children."

Dick looked at his little brother, who looked down. Suddenly, he felt something. A hope that his baby brother would never grow up and feel the pain, the hurt, the anger, that the world destroyed childhoods with. He suddenly wished that he could go back to his own childhood, the early days of Robin. He suddenly wished that he could've been better with Jason, who left the Earth way too early, about being a child.

About a week after that encounter, the main Leaguers and the team were helping fix a bridge going into Gotham, which was destroyed by the most recent bout of villains who teamed together.

Nightwing looked down at the water, his life passing through his mind. He looked up at his friends and family, landing on Tim, who looked so much older than fourteen, covered in dirt, sweat, and blood.

He looked over at Bruce, down at the water, and then back at Bruce, before smirking, an immature idea popping into his head. An idea that he hadn't thought of in years. Something that he swore right then he'd teach Timmy to do. Humiliate the Bat.

"Batman!" He called his former mentor, a serious expression on his face, gaining everyone's attention.

"What is it, Nightwing?" Batman replied urgently.

Wing smirked. "Whale!"

Batman groaned. "Dang it, Bird Brain!" He shouted, before running towards the edge of the bridge and jumping off on his side like a whale.

Nightwing cackled, something the teams haven't heard in a while, as his adoptive father fell, before splashing into the water below.

"Gotcha! And you thought I was grownup and mature! Hahaha! That's how you do it, Baby Bird!" Wing ruffled Robins hair. Robin snickered a little bit, beaming up at Wing.

Meanwhile, Batman spit out some water, before smiling. "Never grow up, chum. I don't wanna lose my childhood either."


	3. Vacation Nightmare

**A/N: This is definately not my best work. It was done on a request and I had so many ideas, but school just started up and I've been so busy, I kinda just wanted to get it done. I might come back later and do a whole story on the same "distaster vacation" prompt though once this is done. Yeah, that's it. Have a good day!** **Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot. It's all DC Comics. If I owned it, Ric Grayson wouldn't exist.**

It all started when Dick slid into the main TV room, singing 'Hawaii' by The Beach Boys while playing the ukulele. He was wearing the stereotypical Hawaiian tourist outfit consisting of a blue button up with floral print, tan shorts above his knee, socks up to his knees, sandals, a tan hat, and a lei.

"Grayson…what are you doing?" Damian rolled his eyes at the eldest Batboy.

"We are going to Hawaii! Bruce just told me! He's got a meeting tomorrow."

Jason raised an eyebrow. "And you're wearing that why?"

"Where did you learn to play the uke?" Tim questioned.

Dick shook his head. "All you need to know is that I've never been and we're going."

They froze. "You've never been? Goldie, even I've been!" Jason exclaimed, genuinely shocked.

"Okay! Go pack!" The boys snickered a bit, before running off to their rooms.

It took about two hours to actually get the boys in the same room with all their stuff. After the first hour, Bruce just sat down and waited.

Finally, the boys loaded into the limo and headed to the airport where their private jet was waiting.

"Alright guys. It'll take eleven to twelve hours so get comfortable, and please don't argue the entire time." Bruce stated, looking at Tim and Damian.

"Tt. As long as Drake stays away." The youngest mumbled.

"You're such a moron! You're the one who follows me around!" Tim growled out.

"Why would I ever follow an imbecile like you?" Damian argued.

"Are we there yet?" Dick asked, eager to arrive at the island.

Jason glared at the first Robin. "If you are gonna be that kid, we're gonna have a problem."

Bruce sighed, plugging in his earbuds and leaning back. "Only twelve hours…"

Unfortunately, that didn't happen. About an hour in, the pilot's voice came over the intercom. "I apologize for inconvenience, but we're having technical difficulties that might take a while to fix and to do so, we need to land."

Bruce cracked his neck, resisting the urge to groan. "Alright. Well, I can't miss that meeting…uh, we'll take public."

The boys groaned, but they got out anyways. They took a rental over to the airport.

"Why does this always happen?" Tim questioned.

"Hey! Don't jinx it!" Jason snapped.

Tim rolled his eyes, before whipping his head towards the window, something in the corner of his eye. "Duck!" He shouted, eyes wide.

Everyone listened. The roof of the car was ripped off by a flying motorcycle.

"Drake! Why'd you curse us!?" Damian hissed as Bruce screeched to a stop.

Said man sighed through his nose as the police came to talk to them. "Stay calm. Stay calm. Control yourself." He mumbled.

Dick raised an eyebrow. "Uh…you okay, B?" Bruce gave him a look. "That must be a no then…"

The police told them what happened. Some bank rover on a motorcycle tried to jump off the bridge and land on the highway. It didn't work. Finally the Waynes were allowed to go. Obviously, their rental was out of the question. After intense arguing, ("I say we take an Uber. Those people are chill." "Nonsense, Todd. Only a peasant like you would suggest such a thing." "Why you!" "No! Jason! Put down the glass! Damian, where'd you get a taser! Timothy stop provoking this! Bruuuuce!") they finally decided to just take the train to the airport, as the station was a couple blocks away.

Luckily the train ride only had some minor bickering and they got to the airport.

Jason was going through security when he remembered something. Of course, it was too late. The metal detectors went off.

"Sir, can you come over here?" The security guard asked.

Jason inwardly panicked, his pistol digging into his hip. "Uh…"

"Gun!" Another guard caught sight of the gun strapped onto Jays belt.

Bruce glared at his second eldest. "Jason Peter Todd!"

Jason winced. "I…forgot?"

So that's how Jason got kicked out and Bruce, wanting to make sure Jason didn't get in trouble, went with him. Dick, Tim, and Damian went onto the plane.

Team Land got on a bus, which Jason was not happy about.

"Only weirdos ride the bus willingly."

Bruce glared at him. "If you had left your gun, maybe we'd be on a plane. But no, we're on a bus, while people stare because I'm a freaking billionaire who should be on a stupid private jet!" He growled silently.

Jason pursed his lips and looked down. It took twenty more hours, but Bruce and Jay finally got to the coast where they got on a boat.

Bruce got out his phone to talk to Dick.

"Hey, are you close?"

"Uh…funny story. So…Jason want the only one to forget to tell us about something he tried smuggling onto the plane."

Dick stood in a police department, glaring at Damian, who crossed his arms, the monkey, duck, and snake he tried smuggling onto the plane in cages on the other side of the building.

"Way to go, Demon spawn." Tim hissed.

Damian growled back. "Tt. You were the one who cursed us, Drake."

Meanwhile… "I honestly blame Tim." Jason said, leaning against the boats rail, looking out onto the water. "He jinxed us. We should be good without that bad luck charm-"

THUD!

Bruce was honestly just tired. Please…please give me a break.

"Give us all your valuables!" A man shouted, a few of his friends, all with ski masks on.

"Pirates." Jay sighed.

Luckily, they were easy to take down.

And, fortunately, the Air Team was able to get back on a plane and both teams met each other at the hotel they were staying at.

Bruce looked at his watch. His meeting was six hours ago. He glared at all of the boys, who smiled innocently.

"We are never going on a vacation ever again."


End file.
